Date: Sun, 22 Feb 1998 21:41:33 -0700 From: Ken Hooper To: type2@type2.com Subject: The Search Ends [Charlie Ford's Last Post] [I don't think it's *really* his last post, just the end of the Beginning of the Wind. I'm told the correct return address for Charlie now is . --KH] [...] > >This will complete the writings about my trip "The Search for the Beginning of >Wind". Now some of you out there are saying "It's about damn time". >Others of you are saying, "Man, I'm gonna miss them there posts". > >To those of you that take the negative view, I apologize for wasting your time >over this past year. To those of you that take the positive and enjoyed the >ramblings of this confused soul, thanks for taking the time to wander along >with me. I feel as if you were sitting with me in the passenger seat as I >drove all of the miles. It is you that the post were written for. All of us >want to travel, but few have the time or money or the will to take on such a >journey. I had no choice in the matter. > >Since the journey's end I have realized that "withdrawal from the road", is >far >worse than the "woes of the road" one might suffer. I keep feeling like I >need >to go somewhere tomorrow. I am so lost right now with so much indecision. >Not >too mention quite broke. Starting over is tough. I can't decide what to do >with my life after such an expedition. I am starting over from scratch. > >Since returning I am trying to write each day and have written a few essays >about "home" and "being at home". Hazlehurst is a special place that has a >lot >of small town flavor to write about, but I can't post these essays to the list >because they don't have VW content. I will instead post them to my website >and >if you want you can visit there and read them. > >Writing has become something of a passion for me. Even I notice that I have >improved since the beginning posts that were somewhat cold and without >structure. I have found a new hobby and that is just one of the products >of my >journey. I hope I continue to improve, and maybe one day I will be >published. >That is every writers dream from what I hear. It would be nice I must admit. > >If this year of "ramblings" ever do get published, and put into book form, it >will be dedicated to this list, and all it's members. Although, to be >honest I >cannot see how it ever could, publishers are pretty tough cookies to get the >attention of. I personally find it easy to write, but very difficult to read >what I write. If they pleased you then I am glad to be of service. > >The "Search for the Beginning of Wind" to me was nothing more than my personal >search for a better life. I had no expectations other than that of adventure >and mystery. I had no goals other than to finish. I learned more in my >travels than I ever have in any endeavor I have undertaken. > >This 'trip', this 'journey', is my most fulfilling experience to date and I >doubt seriously that I will ever suffer anything this marvelous again. I >truly >loved the travel and the people and it far exceeded any accomplishments I have >made in my life. The trip became as much 'yours' as 'mine', and I was glad >too >have all of you to share it with. > >In the beginning there was so much fear associated with the trip. I knew >nothing about the VW Bus, the Mothership, that had been given to me, but I >knew >I had committed to the trip itself when she was given to me by Zack Arias. I >knew nothing of the route I would take except that I would be south since it >was winter. Everything is a mystery in it's own way, like life itself. > >I needed so badly to succeed in something, and in that success learn more >about >how to succeed in all other endeavors I might attempt in the future. I >announced the trip not knowing all of the benefits it would produce. To me it >was standing out as something "crazy", and "not a sane man's actions". An >adventure of humongous proportions, the likes of Lewis and Clark only not as >monumental or historic. I faced my fears and headed out that fateful night of >January 9, 1997 with $1200.00 in my wallet, and none in my bank account. Just >the way any adventure should begin, minimal and uncertain of fate. > >In essence what I did was retreat. I did not run away or go "underground". I >don't deny the fact that I was in debt up to my eyebrows, and emotionally >wrought with loneliness, and the fear that I would spend the rest of my life >alone with no one to say "I love you" to. I needed some relief from all the >things that were ripping me apart. My trip was my chance to take a step back >and try to develop a plan that would essentially bring me joy in my life. >Happiness is one thing, "joy" is something else when it comes to living. > >To me the title of the tour "The Search for the Beginning of Wind" sort of >fits >all of us at some point in our lives. The wind is representative of life >itself, here one moment and gone the next, sometimes strong, sometime weak, >but >still ever present. If you put it specifically, you only have an average of >about 75 years to be here with friends and family, to love and be loved, to >leave legacy, and make a difference. The wind blows, and then it stops as >suddenly as it began. My life had basically stopped moving forward. A fellow >may as well die if he is not progressing, I didn't want to die. > >Maybe in 150 years someone will stumble on my website, or an old discarded >disk, and that generation will at least speak the name "Charlie Ford" once. >Now mid you, they might stand there and say, who the hell was this guy?, and >how the hell could he think he could write?", but all I really want them to >say is that it is evident that I tried to fulfill my dreams, and at least one >of them was this journey. In fact when I do die, I wouldn't mind having that >as my epitaph "He Tried". > >When I was planning for the trip there was this great mystery for what lay >ahead. On the night I left my Mom's house the mystery heightened 1000%. I >drove along and cried because I had just left my Mother, maybe for the last >time, and because I had kept my word to Zack who had given me the bus. The >first success was under my belt. > >A cold front had dropped down out of Canada and had dumped snow all over the >southeast. The winds were howling as I drove from Hazlehurst to Athens, >Georgia. They were hitting me directly in my spare tire cover that hung on >the >front of the Mothership. I wondered if this was fate or nature. > >The first night I camped in a free campground with no power, it was 20 >degrees. The wind was moving me back and forth with 40 mph gusts. I >questioned myself, my life, and my motives, and then fell in to a peaceful >sleep. I didn't dream, but I did roll and tumble. > >The next day I saw a couple of dear friends in Athens, Georgia, had lunch, and >went on my way. Birmingham came and went, Tupelo passed by my window, and the >Mighty Mississippi rolled under the bridge as I crossed it in Memphis. After >that new territory lay ahead. I had never driven this far before. > >Over the next few days the weather grew worse and the trip grew in miles. My >mind was stressed thinking about the road, the bus, and what I was leaving >behind. My job wasn't that good, but it was a job. My bank roll wasn't that >good, but I had one. My love life sucked, but Atlanta was a great place to >improve it. So what the hell was I doing out here freezing my ass off in a >vehicle surrounded by mystery? Only God would enlighten me as the miles >passed. > >I reckon I was looking to gain control by being "out of control". I was >searching for the answers I had searched for so long, in places I had never >searched before. I was trying to muster the courage to say "to hell with the >future, I will just have to trust that it will be good". I pushed forward >with >a fear that was so overwhelming at times it almost made me cry. > >I made my first big destination about 7 days into the trip. Oklahoma City >would be my first extended stop with a visit to a friend. Cathy and I were of >like mind to a certain extent, but in another way we were as different as >night >and day. we had met in Miami a few weeks prior and we had set the meeting up >then. I stayed at her house for three nights. The visit was good but not >without some discontent. The day I left was more a relief more than a >dilemma. > >One last thing to do in Oklahoma City was to visit the Edwin Morrow Building, >or at least where it once stood. The cold had become colder and on the >morning >I visited the site it was 6 degrees. The tears froze on my cheek as I walked >along the barrier fence that surrounded the rubble that once was a government >building and Daycare center. I guess the thing that got to me the most was >the >lives of those lost on that fateful morn. It was a sad site to see as I paid >my respects to the dead and the living. > >My first problems with the Mothership came in Purcell, Oklahoma. I had a fuel >pump die on me and found myself in something of a dilemma. I wrote the list >and to my surprise there were many replies.. I found a pump at a NAPA store in >Purcell and after some trials and tribulation made my way on down to Austin, >Texas with a rougher running bus than I had started the trip with. This >pushed >my fear and anxiety to new proportions. > >Depression, indecision, and all the woes that come with those two moods grew >even stronger. I almost decided to turn back and return home to the same lack >of adventure I had left in the first place, no adventure, but more comfort. I >questioned my motives, my abilities, and my sanity. One of which I still >question even to this day. > >By the time I left Austin, Texas I had entered a new frame of mind. I had >thought about and decided not to turn back and had become happy with the >decision. West Texas improved my cache of patience and my bank roll. New >Mexico cooled my stress and eased my mind. The land was solemn and filled >with >color. The red desert, the brown tumble weeds, the snow capped southern >Rockies. I imagined cowboys and other wanderers riding through the area on >horseback some 100 years ago as I drove along the lonesome highways that >slowly >climbed toward the Rockies. > >Along the way I saw an old friend or two, and an old cousin that lived in >Winsloe, Arizona. The old friend was glad too see me, the old cousin was a >saddening site. I moved on along with a more thoughtful mind about life and >just what friendship means. I thought about family, and how our elderly seem >to get pushed aside as life's light grows a bit dimmer. Sad but true. > >The Grand Canyon taught me about big and small. Vegas told me I didn't >need to >gamble. The desert is an awful place to be broke and deserted. People line >the streets asking for a nickel, only to use it for a game of chance. At the >Grand Canyon people from all over the world stood and looked at the >spectacular >view that only God could have created. It took their breath and mine as we >stood and gawked in awe. > >Finally I reached the Pacific. Two months into my trip. It was in Los >Angeles >area that I met a new friend and another cousin who I had never met. Both of >them brought to me a renewed confidence that I could make it all the way and >attain the goal I had set out to attain. Jack and Dobby are people of a fine >nature, a nature that would be welcomed in my life. I eased northward. > >California brought the graciousness, benevolence, and reverie of people. Jack >Stafford, Martha Rubin, Brad, Ron and the rest of the California Camping >Crazies all played a part in creating a very pleasurable visit. We had all >gathered to see the Hale Bop Comet, but instead we saw each other and liked >what we saw. Narry a harsh word was spoken. > >We didnĖt' see the comet because of overcast weather, but we burned some >magnesium and appeased the VW Gods with reverie and a large white glow. A >good >time was had by all, as well as some great laughter and conversation. Jack >Stafford's homebrewed Oatmeal Stout made it even more festive. I still have a >bottle. > >The rest of the west coast all the way to Seattle taught me even more about >those "special" articles of living, with Michael Lewis and Matt Zipeto >bringing >lessons that can only be learned by the experience of knowing these fine >gentleman. Mike welcomed into his family and Matt did the same. They are >nobility, if there has ever been nobility. > >I entered Canada for the first time in my life while on the "wet coast" as >Tobin Copley put it. I found the country to be clean and nice and full of >folks of a gracious nature. I found the hosiers of the "Great White North" to >be people just like we are, although they do say "eh" a lot. One day I >will be >back in Vancouver, and will cherish it until I re-arrive. Tobin and Christa >will be first on my list to visit. I can't wait to see how much 10 Double M >(their new babe) has grown. > >I left the west coast after two and one half months of basically living in >Seattle. While there, I had slept in a crime laden alley each night. Each >night I would lay down wondering what would be the excitement of the night >ahead. I finally got involved and calmed some of the ill and evil occurring >each night and day before my eyes. I can't stand it when adults involve >children in their criminal activity, children just don't deserve it. > >Leaving Seattle was sad, but I was glad to see the lines passing in front >of me >once again. I had to press on, the wind awaited me. Doug at Doug's VW had >made sure that the Mothership was ready for the road, and I felt confident >as I >drove along. Doug is my VW Guru from here on. > >I eased through Eastern Washington and down the Columbia River Gorge toward >Eastern Oregon. It was there I met Jim Arnott and his family and we shared >some good talk, and made a trade or two. He is a great guy and a brother of >like kind. > >Southern Idaho, the Oregon Trail, and Yellowstone taught me about the >fragility >of the environment and how man and beast can survive together and bring >pleasure to one another in the co-habitation. It is a marvelous place of >wonder and adventure. Life moves right before your eyes in the rivers, >geysers, and streams. It is a place that proves that the earth is a living >being. > >Beartooth Pass in southern Montana, stood at 10,942 feet and taught me about >the Nez Perce tribe and how we Americans hunted these people down and >destroyed >them all in the name of trying to ensure our freedom on this great continent. >Chief Joseph and his tribe ran as fast and as far as they could and still died >trying to escape the wrath of our armies. Yes folks, even in a country as >great as ours there are ghost to live with and try to reckon. The Mothership >moved up and down the grades with the greatest of ease. > >Wyoming taught me the meaning of solitude even while I thought of an old >girlfriend that had walked in my dreams. It was in that State that I traveled >my loneliest road, thought of Judy (an old lover) in a blues filled state of >mind, and met The Nipps. The sun was hot and the people were plain and good. >They reminded me that Gene Autry really was a cowboy, and that riding a horse >is a pleasurable thing to do even when it's your daily job. > >Denver showed me that women are as indecisive about affection as men are, and >that they can be as lonely as we. Nebraska showed me that people need heroes >and that the ones they choose have to live up to standards to great for the >common man. I didn't realize how many folks were reading what I was writing >until that state rolled under my wheels. > >In Wisconsin I saw the north Mississippi river, Cheese producers, and >beautiful >countryside. Highway 61 was visited, and thanks to Len and Jan Alcamo I saw >that people can set aside one night a week to play music and enjoy each others >company through that music. In that State I also learned that writing is a >craft, an art, that one can learn with enough practice. I still have not >practiced enough. Thanks Bob, you increased the level of my dreaming. > >I eased on over to Chicago where I did some carpet laying and sweating. That >is undoubtedly the toughest job I have ever done. After leaving there I drove >through the potholes of Detroit and back into Canada for the second time in my >life. It was every bit as pleasurable as the first. What a difference a >border makes in the roads and scenery. Canada has no litter, no potholes, and >a lot of plain good folks. > >In Toronto I ran out of money and could not find enough work to move me on, >although I did build a fence for Ron Mighton (he tells me it is still >standing). I retreated south to Cincinnati and into the company of Ted >Finesman, Tony Moore and others to try and renew my cache of cash. While >there, I spent more time with VW's than any man really needs to. > >I love VW's and will always drive one, but dear God don't ever let me fall >prey >to the show-car mentality. Too much ego and not enough driving. I could have >punched one guy in the nose if he would have bragged on his much more. he was >the biggest jerk I met on the trip. In fact VW Trends recently featured his >egotistic Ghia in an article. > >Saint Louis was a must. Bill Bowman had corralled me at the Columbus, Ohio >show and insisted that I make Busses by the Arch. I said I would and off I >went to the greatest VW gathering I had been to. It wasn't a show, but a VW >Campmeeting. It was there I met Tom Neidernhoffer (gotcha), Pat Hoffman (the >Guru), and Curt (the wanderer at heart). These are folks I will no the >rest of >my life along with my brother Bill (the meticulous one). I miss ya man, tell >Kathryn (the garlic guru) I said hi. > >I drove southward to Illinois where I met my new traveling pal and confidant >"Gus". This Bassett Hound that is a free spirit no matter what the cost. He >will drop a load when the spirit freely moves him. He will also wake you >up in >the dead of a cold winter night with a flatuation that will curl your >eyebrows. He is also a great co-pilot that has brought me company when no one >else would or could. Thanks Darrell and Jolene. > >In Southern Kentucky I taught AmeriCorps members how to serve better and they >taught me how good young people can be when they put their idealistic >energy to >work toward good goals and objectives. There is hope for our future. >Kentucky >READS program is a part of the solution. > >I returned to Cincinnati, and it was there I flew to Colorado to work with, >and >train even more college age kids that were a part of AmeriCorps. They are >serving the State of Colorado with a vigor like that of a 60's activist. They >are outspoken and full of energy and good karma. I was fed once again the >meat >of giving to one another with an eye toward tomorrowĖs creation. > >In Cleveland, Ohio I got the chance to practice the patience I apparently had >not learned crossing west Texas. I sat and waited for a check to come from >Colorado. The Government sucks when it comes to paying you what they owe, but >if you owe them, watch out. Matthew, the person in charge of the money for >the >gig should encumber most of the blame. Cleveland did bring me the new >friendship of many, and for that I will always be thankful. Hope things are >good Neil, Lori, and the girls. > >I moved on into New England. I visited Montpelier, VT, Bangor, Maine, and >farther north into New Brunswick. Grand Manan Island taught me that to dream >is one thing, but to experience is quite another. Especially when your dreams >are in the hands of others. I needed my dreams and experiences to myself. I >will go there again one day, I have too see the tide surge of the Bay of Fundy >in my life. > >I headed south on highway #1 in Canada and realized suddenly that I was on the >last leg of my trip. So many times I had wondered if I would make it, and now >there just wasn't that much more left. Snow was once again falling and the >weather that was once summer had become winter. heading south brought some >amount of sadness. > >Maine and New Hampshire brought new friends to call my own. Ned Savoie, John >Hathaway, and, Tom Goody being among the bunch. Thanksgiving was filled with >all the niceties of family, and friends shared by John. Ned and I went skiing >after the first big snow fall in the Maine Mountains. Tom and I talked, and >had a drink of whiskey. > >On reaching Washington, DC I seized the opportunity to renew some of my >patriotic beliefs and to see some folks I needed to see. I learned that one >can remain quite popular even though they fall out of the mainstream. I >realized once again how many boys and girls have fought and died for this >country to remain free. I saw how our forefathers had dreams of something >great even though they didn't know what it would all finally end up being. >they did a good job I think. > >In Virginia I saw my Brother Lynn who is trying to figure out whether to stay >with his wife of 20 years or to divorce and start all over. I guess even the >most sincere loves don't last forever. Or at least the marriages that become >the sign of that love. I will stand by his decision no matter what it is. He >is my brother. > >I spent my Christmas alone on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. On Christmas >day I was invited to feast with the family of a guy I met at a gas station. > It >was a festive time to say the least. They were the smokingest bunch of people >I have ever had the privilege to meet. It was nothing like Thanksgiving had >been. I really did enjoy myself. that night I lay alone in my bus and read >the biblical version of the Christmas Story. It really is quite beautiful. > >I eased over to East Tennessee and spent some times with Doc Ric and all his >offspring. He gave Gus a checkup, me a shirt, and down to Georgia I went. It >took me all of week to get home and to be honest, it was quite nice to see a >fire ant bed. That was the first sign of Georgia I saw upon re-entry. I met >the three DavidĖs and James, and lamented at seeing my old stomping grounds >for >the first time since I had left them. > >I arrived back at my Mothers house on January 9, 1998. One year to the day >after setting out on my trip. For some reason it had not been a trip at all. >It was a journey that very few people get to experience. The "coming home" >was >sweet and sour. I wanted people to be proud, yet they were not so much. I >wanted recognition, but I got very little. I guess there are still things >that >I need to work on, but they will come in time. > >In the past year I met so many people, some that will remain friends for >life. >I saw my country, one that I love with all my heart. I drove lonesome roads, >listened to distant radio stations, and got involved in creating positive >change in a neighborhood 3000 miles from my hometown. In this year I have >loved, and lost, stressed, and relaxed and I am still here. The only question >that remains is what do I do now? > >Did I find the "Beginning of Wind"? No, but I know now that it does exist, >and >that it can be found. I just have to be patient, tenacious, and relentless in >my endeavor to live life to it's fullest. I have to commit myself to not >accepting the way things are, and to have the boldness to meet the >challenges I >face, and others face. It is my duty to serve, so serve I will, somehow, some >way. > >Where is the beginning of wind? I am not sure, but in as much as I have >written in the past year it may just be that I am 'it's' beginning. Pretty >much the same as you are. Maybe you and I are the ones that stir the tide, >and >move the sand up the shoreline to make dry land and whir through the trees to >make the rustling sound. Maybe we are the ones that power the young child's >kite to fly higher and higher till it just becomes a dot on the blue sky. > >Maybe, just maybe my voice, my words, my ramblings, when mingled with your >voices, your words, and your ramblings move the ships that sail the sea. >Maybe >we are the generators of life and love and happiness and well-being. Maybe we >move the clouds. > >We have it in our power, but so few of us "seize the day". If we all stop, >then maybe the wind stops and life goes away. If we all start, then maybe the >wind picks up and reformation and reclamation of living happens. Just maybe. > >Thanks for my contributing to my year. The experience and all of you I will >never forget. You have all been my lifeline, and my inspiration and my joy to >know. I am always at your service just as you have been at mine. You helped >me live my dream so I can help someone else live theirs. > >And the congregation says............ > >Thanks for tolerating the ramblings. > >Charlie Ford > >Particulars: >365 days >22,847 miles >Approximate Cost: $10,000.00 >Troubles: Fuel Pump, Airflow meter, CV Joints (no clicks, just rebuild) ># of people met from list: Approximately 150 ># " " " general: Too many to count, but I can remember >faces from the first the middle and the last. > >Special Thanks: >Ken Hooper: for putting up with monstrous post of overwhelming size and not >cussing me out. Truly a great and patient man. >Chris Chubb: He helped me stop all the way around the country. >David Raistrick: For the great web site that was hit over 6000 times in the >year. >Len and Jan Alcamo: Stained Glass VW emblem (his was the first), good music, >Steve Dolan: Roof rack >Ric Jablonski: Sweat Shirt with SFTBOW embroidery. He has the contract if >the >book becomes famous. >Jack Stafford: Airflow Meter >Chris Chubb: Brake Rotors (an answer to prayer) >Bill Bowman: I hope I can be as maticulous as you someday. >Charles Whittenburg: Different life, but a brother none the less. >CW Cowart: A sweat lodge awaits one day. >SLICE CORPS >America READS >State of Mississippi >David Robinson >Marty Robinson >The Soiney Brothers and the DBG: What a party! >Dan Lahey" Dan, Dan, the carpet man >Mom and Pop Lahey >Mary Anne Lahey: My sister for life. >Ron Mighton: Thanks Ron, I will be in touch >The Production Network (Seattle) >Manpower Inc. >Julien and Diane Phillips: Peace to both of you. >Kim Grose >Mike Camunez >Tom Goody >Jon Hathaway: Thanksgiving was marvelous, tell your family hi. >Ned Savoie: Snowboard partner. >Mitch Freitag >Russ and Donna Scott >Bob Whitby, for the confidence in a new artform. >Stefan Ufer >Doug Thompson >Clint ????? >John Britenbach >Terry Russell >Eric Waxler >Cincinatti VW Club >Tom Neidernhoffer: See I did mention you Tom >Ron Salmon and Evon: I ain't sick no more >Ted Finsman: A man that puts up with a lot and keeps ticking away. >Tony and Melanie Moore: Nohemi is a lucky little girl. >Darrell and Jolene Boehller: Thanks for Gus and everything else. >James Arnott: One day maybe we camp in your spot. >Mike and Bobbi Lewis: Family in Seattle >Matt Zipeto: It's falling Matt......I can't hold it. : ) >Ginger and Mike Nipps: Great steak and company. >Erin Lassley >Brian Holcumb: Crusty >Martha Rubin: To me you are the voice of Linus >Ron Lussier: Damn good sushi Ron. >Cathy and the Purple Majesty: Purple is beautiful >Jed: The voice of JFK in Forest Gump >Mike Houston: My colleague >Sean Bartnik >Thom Forhan >Gary Gibson: The push button works fine but that wasn't the probelm. Lets >make a movie. >Carl, "the capitalist pig" who's greed got the better of him. >David Martin and his partner in crime James Smyth: Good ole Georgia boys. >David Easterwood: Neatest house around. >Matt Williamson: First time we met we hugged. >Gus, cause he's a good dog and traveling partner >The Mothership for her stability even in strong winds >Zack Arias, for giving me the Mothership ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To leave the list, send an UNSUBSCRIBE message to TYPE2-REQUEST@TYPE2.COM -------------------------------------------------------------------------